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Stress

It is possible to get rid of your stress.

"Yeah, sure," you might say. "So how do I change the circumstances that are causing my stress?" Here's our answer.

Imagine that you are about to undertake an important project and have the belief: "I don't think I can do it." How do you feel? ... You'd feel stress—and would blame the project for causing the stress. Now imagine the same project, but this time you have the belief: "I know I'll do a great job." How do you feel now? ... Notice that the project is no longer causing stress.

Outside circumstances don't cause stress. Our beliefs about ourselves and the world do. Stress is caused by negative beliefs and feelings about ourselves, people, and the world we live in. The beliefs can easily be eliminated with the Decision Maker Belief Process and the feelings with the Decision Maker Stimulus and Sense Processes.

The following is a list of some beliefs that clients complaining of stress have identified and eliminated. Can you see that anyone with beliefs such as these probably would experience stress?

Say each of the following beliefs out loud. If any of them resonate with you, it's probably a belief you hold. Even though you may have held it since you were a child, and even if you've tried a number of ways to get rid of it, the Decision Maker Belief (DM) Process can assist you to eliminate it permanently.

"If I fail it means I'm stupid."
"I'm not competent."
"I'm not good enough."
"Nothing I do is good enough."
"I'll never get what I want."
"Mistakes are bad."
"If I make a mistake it means I'm bad and stupid."
"Life is difficult."
"People can't be trusted."
"I'm powerless."
"I have no control over my life."
"I don't measure up."
"The unknown is scary."
"If I do something wrong, something terrible will happen."

Assume that if you didn't have these or any other related beliefs. Imagine, instead, that you believed, "There is no such thing as failure; everything is merely a learning experience." And, "I'm fine just the way I am; I don't have to do anything to be okay and accepted by others." Would you still be likely to experience stress?

Most of the techniques commonly used to deal with stress focus on how to better cope with stress that appears to come from outside of us. For example, meditation, deep breathing, and visualizations can alleviate it for the moment. The DM Process, on the other hand, assists people to totally eliminate their stress by getting rid of the beliefs that cause it.

One client, a psychotherapist who lived with constant stress, described how the DM Belief Process helped her overcome it.

"At my first session with Shelly Lefkoe I told her: 'I'm overwhelmed. I'm confused. Scattered. I'm not focused. All over the place. I can't organize. Frightened by competition. It keeps me from being successful. There is an emptiness I have to fill. I feel anxious and stressed all the time.'

"Shelly helped me eliminate a number of beliefs, after which my life changed dramatically. Today I have a grounded sense of confidence. I enjoy life more. I feel better about who I am. I now believe I am worthy of being taken seriously. Unlike what my mother used to say, 'No one could take you seriously,' I know I have much to offer people.

"The emptiness is gone. I have an inner joy. I accept what I can do and have confidence that I can do it. It doesn't matter what others are doing. The other guy is not such a threat anymore. Finally, I have a sense of poise in the world that I lacked before. I used to be seen as this naive, wimpy type. I don't think that's what I project any more. I project a stronger image. I'm someone I'm happy to be. The anxiety and stress are gone."

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